I already said that I lost my virginity... But I'm really scared... Since then, I've been bleeding pretty heavily. I know this probably isn't what you want to be reading, but I haven't told anyone in my family, there's no one I can go to for advice, I just want to know if I'm okay. Please, if you read this and you know what's going on, help me out?
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Sunday, 26 June 2011
The Sun Makes Everything Better
After an awful couple of days being ill and disappointed that I couldn't go to Glastonbury Festival, us Brits were treated to a delightful bout of beautiful sunshine for the day. The metaphorical connections that my mind made with my life and our grey skies clearing and being filled with sunshine were very comforting. Lying out in the sun, in the middle of the stunning countryside that I'm lucky enough to live in, it was like it was insane to imagine that there could possibly be any problems in the world.
Friday, 24 June 2011
It's a bit soon, isn't it?
Well, I've been feeling horrendous recently. So exhausted, and stressed out about all sorts of teenage girl related things. I'm prone to cold sores, which is something nice to share with people you barely know (insert apologies here for those who are not a fan of sarcasm, perhaps this is not the blog for you), so I'm battling with this ugly affliction.
Forewarning: I'm going to ramble a bit here, just explaining those "teenage girl related things". I'm trying to figure out exactly why things are getting to me.
First of all, there's someone in my life whom I have known for almost four years and have always kind of liked. Let's call him Mortimer, as that's a fun name. Mortimer and I had never expressed any feelings for eachother until one night, my birthday, almost a month ago, when we shared a kiss. Since then, my best friend... Cornelia? Yes, Cornelia, has broken up with her long term boyfriend in order to pursue a casual relationship with Mortimer. As one may understand, this has been difficult to watch. Despite the fact that they were slightly insensitive to my feelings, they have done nothing wrong and I would never ask them both to stop doing someting that they clearly enjoy for my sake. Nevertheless, doing the right thing is often painful.
Secondly, I have always been fairly curious about sex, but believed that it was something that shouldn't be done in the absence of love. Recently, I've been thinking, and I realised the naevity of this. Although that would indeed be an ideal situation, surpressing natural "urges" (for want of a better word) until the aforementioned love arrived has proved to be very difficult. So, I decided to step out of my comfort zone, take a little bit of a risk in order to get something that I wanted. I discussed my feelings with a distant friend a few years my senior and made my intentions clear. We enjoyed several evenings together and are in the process of organising more. Despite the fact that I am wholly and undoubtedly happy about the proceedings, I'm wrestling with the fact that I know many other people would say this was wrong.
Here is where I realise just how bored you may be; I'm fully aware that hearing other people's problems isn't exactly fun. However, if anyone should read this, anyone at all who thinks that they could help me out (I know I'm being selfish; but hey, worth a try) I would definitely welcome advice from anyone who has been young girl and miraculously lived through it.
Forewarning: I'm going to ramble a bit here, just explaining those "teenage girl related things". I'm trying to figure out exactly why things are getting to me.
First of all, there's someone in my life whom I have known for almost four years and have always kind of liked. Let's call him Mortimer, as that's a fun name. Mortimer and I had never expressed any feelings for eachother until one night, my birthday, almost a month ago, when we shared a kiss. Since then, my best friend... Cornelia? Yes, Cornelia, has broken up with her long term boyfriend in order to pursue a casual relationship with Mortimer. As one may understand, this has been difficult to watch. Despite the fact that they were slightly insensitive to my feelings, they have done nothing wrong and I would never ask them both to stop doing someting that they clearly enjoy for my sake. Nevertheless, doing the right thing is often painful.
Secondly, I have always been fairly curious about sex, but believed that it was something that shouldn't be done in the absence of love. Recently, I've been thinking, and I realised the naevity of this. Although that would indeed be an ideal situation, surpressing natural "urges" (for want of a better word) until the aforementioned love arrived has proved to be very difficult. So, I decided to step out of my comfort zone, take a little bit of a risk in order to get something that I wanted. I discussed my feelings with a distant friend a few years my senior and made my intentions clear. We enjoyed several evenings together and are in the process of organising more. Despite the fact that I am wholly and undoubtedly happy about the proceedings, I'm wrestling with the fact that I know many other people would say this was wrong.
Here is where I realise just how bored you may be; I'm fully aware that hearing other people's problems isn't exactly fun. However, if anyone should read this, anyone at all who thinks that they could help me out (I know I'm being selfish; but hey, worth a try) I would definitely welcome advice from anyone who has been young girl and miraculously lived through it.
Thursday, 23 June 2011
Just Starting Out.
So I figured I'd better introduce myself before I actually talk. I always find that people pay more attention to text that's a little more personal, and it's sort of rude to just go rambling on when nobody knows who you are.
I'm Elizabeth. Despite the fact that I'm sure you're a very lovely, sane, emotionally stable person, you understand that I can't put my full name onto the internet. I'm a cautious person. I'm uncomfortable with describing myself. I don't know, it seems self-centred to say nice things about yourself, but at the same time I don't want you to think I'm a horrible person. Maybe it's because I'm English. Stereotypically we're not the most expressive creed, are we? Perhaps I'll just let you read my future blogs and decide some adjectives for yourself (Sneaky narrative hook).
I'm Elizabeth. Despite the fact that I'm sure you're a very lovely, sane, emotionally stable person, you understand that I can't put my full name onto the internet. I'm a cautious person. I'm uncomfortable with describing myself. I don't know, it seems self-centred to say nice things about yourself, but at the same time I don't want you to think I'm a horrible person. Maybe it's because I'm English. Stereotypically we're not the most expressive creed, are we? Perhaps I'll just let you read my future blogs and decide some adjectives for yourself (Sneaky narrative hook).
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