Well, I've been feeling horrendous recently. So exhausted, and stressed out about all sorts of teenage girl related things. I'm prone to cold sores, which is something nice to share with people you barely know (insert apologies here for those who are not a fan of sarcasm, perhaps this is not the blog for you), so I'm battling with this ugly affliction.
Forewarning: I'm going to ramble a bit here, just explaining those "teenage girl related things". I'm trying to figure out exactly why things are getting to me.
First of all, there's someone in my life whom I have known for almost four years and have always kind of liked. Let's call him Mortimer, as that's a fun name. Mortimer and I had never expressed any feelings for eachother until one night, my birthday, almost a month ago, when we shared a kiss. Since then, my best friend... Cornelia? Yes, Cornelia, has broken up with her long term boyfriend in order to pursue a casual relationship with Mortimer. As one may understand, this has been difficult to watch. Despite the fact that they were slightly insensitive to my feelings, they have done nothing wrong and I would never ask them both to stop doing someting that they clearly enjoy for my sake. Nevertheless, doing the right thing is often painful.
Secondly, I have always been fairly curious about sex, but believed that it was something that shouldn't be done in the absence of love. Recently, I've been thinking, and I realised the naevity of this. Although that would indeed be an ideal situation, surpressing natural "urges" (for want of a better word) until the aforementioned love arrived has proved to be very difficult. So, I decided to step out of my comfort zone, take a little bit of a risk in order to get something that I wanted. I discussed my feelings with a distant friend a few years my senior and made my intentions clear. We enjoyed several evenings together and are in the process of organising more. Despite the fact that I am wholly and undoubtedly happy about the proceedings, I'm wrestling with the fact that I know many other people would say this was wrong.
Here is where I realise just how bored you may be; I'm fully aware that hearing other people's problems isn't exactly fun. However, if anyone should read this, anyone at all who thinks that they could help me out (I know I'm being selfish; but hey, worth a try) I would definitely welcome advice from anyone who has been young girl and miraculously lived through it.
Forewarning: I'm going to ramble a bit here, just explaining those "teenage girl related things". I'm trying to figure out exactly why things are getting to me.
First of all, there's someone in my life whom I have known for almost four years and have always kind of liked. Let's call him Mortimer, as that's a fun name. Mortimer and I had never expressed any feelings for eachother until one night, my birthday, almost a month ago, when we shared a kiss. Since then, my best friend... Cornelia? Yes, Cornelia, has broken up with her long term boyfriend in order to pursue a casual relationship with Mortimer. As one may understand, this has been difficult to watch. Despite the fact that they were slightly insensitive to my feelings, they have done nothing wrong and I would never ask them both to stop doing someting that they clearly enjoy for my sake. Nevertheless, doing the right thing is often painful.
Secondly, I have always been fairly curious about sex, but believed that it was something that shouldn't be done in the absence of love. Recently, I've been thinking, and I realised the naevity of this. Although that would indeed be an ideal situation, surpressing natural "urges" (for want of a better word) until the aforementioned love arrived has proved to be very difficult. So, I decided to step out of my comfort zone, take a little bit of a risk in order to get something that I wanted. I discussed my feelings with a distant friend a few years my senior and made my intentions clear. We enjoyed several evenings together and are in the process of organising more. Despite the fact that I am wholly and undoubtedly happy about the proceedings, I'm wrestling with the fact that I know many other people would say this was wrong.
Here is where I realise just how bored you may be; I'm fully aware that hearing other people's problems isn't exactly fun. However, if anyone should read this, anyone at all who thinks that they could help me out (I know I'm being selfish; but hey, worth a try) I would definitely welcome advice from anyone who has been young girl and miraculously lived through it.
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